LIBERATION BARBIE

By Nicole Blackman

I’m visiting Barbie again today

but I get so upset seeing her like this

with all her bodies frozen forever

in clear cellophane coffins

like Eva Peron on display to the masses.

Barbie’s dream houses are cardboard

and her surfboards, horses and Corvettes have a

shiny shiny hot pink shine.

God, she must be sick of pink.

When I was a kid, all she could do was

hang out at the beauty salon

eat at the ice-cream parlor

or stand awkwardly on a fashion runway.

These days she’s a rap singer, a doctor,

or a Naval petty officer.

But she smiles like a porno star

No matter what she’s wearing.

Ken’s molded hair and painted

bright white smile look painful.

At least he has a molded lump for a crotch,

Barbie only gets a weird dent between her legs.

Behind real glass, wearing real silk, are the real dolls

with really big price tags

($295 for a Collector’s Edition of the Bob Mackie Barbie)

One young mother,

fending off an adrenalized munchkin says

That’s stupid. You’re just paying $290 for the dress y’know

and I know she’s never paid $295 for anything ever

no not ever.

Across from the pink wall are the Other Dolls,

not nearly as desirable, but they try.

90210 dolls, Shani dolls, Asian dolls, Happy To Be Me dolls

with small breasts, thick waists and short legs.

After closing time, Brenda Walsh and Barbie hang out and

trade clothes, discussing late night sexual encounters

With Dylan and Ken.

Barbie’s hair just gets bigger.

No doubt, millions of little girls in Mattel focus groups say

My favorite part is her hair.

Yes, I like playing with her hair the best…

So the hair keeps getting bigger

and curlier and blonder.

Pretty soon, you’ll just buy boxes of Barbie hair

with no Barbie at all.

this is funny. hahaha